Dogs are animals that poop in public and you’re supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you’ve got to ask yourself, “Who’s the real master in this relationship?”

Anthony Griffin

Warning: This will be a dog poop rant so if you are overly sensitive, brace yourself.

Today we are going to talk about ‘dog poop’ And, by we, I mean me and by “are going to talk” I mean, I’m going to rant and hopefully someone will listen. I’ll start with this simple message: “Pick up your dog’s poop!” Seriously, people – Pick.It.Up. This really shouldn’t need to be said out loud. I mean isn’t it kind of obvious? You have a dog in your life. Your dog poops. That poop has to be thrown away (again, I thought this was an obvious one but clearly we’re going to need to discuss)

Your dog does not have opposable thumbs – I know your pup is smart but you’re going to have to trust me on this one – your dog is physically incapable of picking up his/her own poop. Okay – some dogs (and I’m not saying Simon and Zora – I’m not NOT saying it) but some dogs, have been known to dispose of their poop by eating it…One word….Poopsicles. (You can try to pretend I didn’t say that)

Look it up – dogs do not have hands – those are paws, despite how “special” your dog is. I know this because I have two dogs and neither of them has ever been able to master the art of grabbing a little plastic bag and picking up their own waste. Here’s a “how to” video from Scoop Poop in Puget Sound, Washington just in case you need a play-by-play.

Pick up your dog poop.


Pick up the dog poop

Am I wrong in believing that everyone knows they are supposed to pick up after their dogs? At least in Boulder it’s pretty much posted EVERYWHERE that one is expected to pick up the poop after their dogs defecate.

Pick up your dog poop.

Can we at least agree that everyone knows this? (Please tell me the actual expectation is common knowledge) In fact, in Boulder it is a city ordinance that states,

“Picking up your pet’s waste is required by City Ordinance. It is an important way to help preserve our environment as well as prevent the spread of disease. Please be courteous to other Boulder community members by cleaning up after your pet. PENALTIES: In addition to impoundment fees, guardians are subject to a summons to court for violations of the City animal ordinances. The maximum penalty for each violation is $1,000 and/or 90 days in jail. Fines are subject to increase for subsequent violations.”

This should go without saying but, please folks! Pick up the poop! Click To Tweet

It should say, “and no one wants to step in your dog’s poo!” Frankly, I’m not sure a $1,000 fine is entirely sufficient.

I suspect that similar ordinances exist all over the country. I’m also pretty sure that when puppies are adopted at the shelter someone mentions the whole “dog guardianship 101” stuff about feeding, sheltering, watering, not leaving in the car, exercise, training and picking up poopPick up your dog poop.

There are even poop pick up services. If it is simply too much for your delicate sensibility then hire someone to follow you and Fido around to PICK IT UP. If I can be outside in subzero temperatures at 4:00 some winter morning picking up poo because one of my dogs had to go out in the middle of the night, then you can certainly pick up your dog’s poo when out for a stroll – especially when I offer you a bag. I personally have gone out of my way to find a bag and go back to the spot of the offense if I run out of bags on my walks.

I was walking Simon one day and I saw this gentleman (using the term VERY loosely here) walking a beautiful Weimaraner and just as I was about to get my flirt on, his dog went into the recognizable squat. I was sure this guy would do the right thing- especially with others around -but he started to walk away. I kindly offered him a bag to which he said, and I quote, “That’s okay. I’m good.” Well, sure. You’re good, dude but the rest of us now need to side step Spot’s little (not so little) landmine. THANKS! Can’t tell you how much the rest of us appreciate your thoughtfulness. You’re quite the catch, aren’t you?… I didn’t realize you had received an exemption from picking up the poo while the rest of us poor saps are doomed to a lifetime of watching our steps and being, I don’t know, RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS!

It’s in the damn handbook people, if your dog poops… pick it up! End of rant.

Simon Says

I would do it myself but…well, I can’t.


We’ll make it easy on you. Here are some dog poop scooping accessories!

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By |2017-04-05T18:25:47+00:00September 28th, 2014|Daily Dog Life, Dog Humor, Dogs, Rants, Responsible Pet Guardian|52 Comments

About the Author:

Alison Reder


  1. Christina Berry March 9, 2016 at 7:43 am - Reply

    Thanks for the reminder to clean up after our pets! Honestly, it’s just a common courtesy (and common sense!) to make sure that if our pets make a mess, we clean it up. I wish more pet owners would “get it”.

    • SimonDawg March 9, 2016 at 8:32 am - Reply

      It is kind of ridiculous how many people think it’s optional 😉

  2. MattieDog March 9, 2016 at 7:48 am - Reply

    Ha ha ha ha!!! OMD – this is the best article I’ve read in a long time! I’m sharing it through my social media channels – awesome!

    • SimonDawg March 9, 2016 at 8:33 am - Reply

      Thanks, Mattie Dog! I’m so glad you liked the piece and thank you so much for sharing 🙂

  3. Lara Elizabeth March 9, 2016 at 7:48 am - Reply

    I’ve been considering a rant like this myself, in the form of a letter to my HOA and my dear, dear neighbors who let their dogs out on to the community lawns under cover of night and NEVER pick up after them. It’s so disgusting, and I don’t think they realize that it’s things like that which make life difficult for all dog owners. Someday the complex may decide they want to vote dogs out. I proudly carry my poop bags, empty or full, because at least my neighbors know I’m picking up after my dogs!

    • SimonDawg March 9, 2016 at 8:36 am - Reply

      Rant away, Lara! It’s good to get it out 🙂 I totally know those neighbors who sneak out to the common areas in my complex at night thinking no one can see them… Of course, the fact that I have looked out my window to catch them, kind of makes me “that crazy lady” but I can live with that – ha!

  4. Tricia Clements March 9, 2016 at 7:59 am - Reply

    I agree completely! I was walking my fur babies a while back and was picking up their poop and a guy came out of his yard to thank me for picking up after them!! I thought, isn’t that what everyone does? Obviously not!

    Thank you for the reminder to be a responsible pet parent.

    • SimonDawg March 9, 2016 at 8:40 am - Reply

      I know, right?!? It seems like one of obvious pet care responsibilities but apparently some folks think the rules don’t apply to them. 😉

  5. Ann Staub March 9, 2016 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    I hate to say it but I bet there are plenty who don’t know. Kind of shocking! I’m pretty sure if my dad had a dog, he wouldn’t know to pick up the poop. But that’s why it’s important to keep reminding!

  6. Jessica March 9, 2016 at 5:23 pm - Reply

    Right on sister!!!! And add to that the fact you don’t leave your dog in a hot car. But I mean….common sense is just lost. one can only hope one day people will be required to under go multi classes and test to make sure they are ready for the responsibility of owning a dog…or cat…or child. -end of my rant- 🙂

    • SimonDawg March 10, 2016 at 10:29 am - Reply

      Excellent rant! 🙂 I am in total agreement and you can rant with me anytime 😉

  7. Dachshund Nola March 9, 2016 at 7:15 pm - Reply

    YES! People are especially bad about picking up their dog’s poop in the ritzy beach town about half an hour from here. Not only is it nasty and smelly, I always worry about worms and diseases being spread by those “owners”.

    • SimonDawg March 10, 2016 at 10:34 am - Reply

      You have to wonder if they consider that it could be them who steps in it… 😉

  8. Kelly April 6, 2016 at 7:33 am - Reply

    Oh I feel your frustration! This is becoming an issue of late in my neighbourhood where there is “someone” not picking up after their dog and giving the rest of us responsible dog owners a bad name! There is “someone” who is picking up and bagging the poop, but get this – they leave the bag on lawns! I mean, if you’re going to take the time to pick it up and bag the poop, take it with you!

    • SimonDawg April 6, 2016 at 10:38 am - Reply

      OMG! That’s almost worse than not picking it up at all! 😉

  9. nichole April 6, 2016 at 8:29 am - Reply

    It’s pretty sad – and pathetic – for people to not pick up after their dog. I don’t know what I would have done in your case… I stopped going to a dog park because of the jerks who refuse to clean up after their dogs there.

    • SimonDawg April 6, 2016 at 10:43 am - Reply

      The lack of common sense really does boggle the mind sometimes!

  10. Andrea April 6, 2016 at 11:30 am - Reply

    Good rant it doesn’t matter what country you live in, we all have that same problem!

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:15 am - Reply

      I am, sadly, not surprised that the problem is pervasive. Glad you liked the rant 😉

  11. Ruth and Layla April 6, 2016 at 12:18 pm - Reply

    HA, I am Layla’s slave to all and that includes her poop 🙂

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:16 am - Reply

      HAHA! I keep having this conversation with Simon, Zora and Piper about learning to pick up their own poop. So far, they continue to ignore me 😉

  12. spencerthegoldendoodle April 6, 2016 at 2:45 pm - Reply

    BOL, wonderful post! Some people just ruin it for others!!!

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:17 am - Reply

      I know, right?!? Can we vote them off the island or something? 😉

  13. christycaplan (@christycaplan) April 6, 2016 at 3:25 pm - Reply

    Love this post – why do folks think it’s OK to not pick up poop. it’s super gross and I totally think there should be a fine!

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:19 am - Reply

      So glad you liked the post! And, I totally agree. I mean it’s not like you don’t notice your dog is pooping when you’re out on a walk!

  14. Diane April 6, 2016 at 5:11 pm - Reply

    Awesome rant! You would think it is common courtesy or common sense however you want to put it. But some people obviously lack both LOL.

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:22 am - Reply

      I do love a good rant! So glad you appreciated this one 😉 I agree – it’s really not expecting too much to ask people to display some basic common sense and common courtesy.

  15. pawprintpetblog April 6, 2016 at 6:53 pm - Reply

    Crazies. Bad owners who don’t pick up after their dogs make the rest of us look bad. Not to mention how unhealthy and bad for the environment it is to leave piles of crap all over the place.

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:24 am - Reply

      It really is nasty! You would think that alone would be enough to motivate folks to pick it up. Apparently, our expectations are too high 😉

  16. Beth April 6, 2016 at 7:37 pm - Reply

    I live across the street from a park and while it is small, it is well used. In the mornings, it serves as a dog park. In the afternoon/early evening, people play football and soccer there. I have seen dogs poop on the grass and the people just leave it, despite a sign, garbage can and poop bags in two different places in the park. I love what a town in Spain did to stop this problem

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:28 am - Reply

      OMG! I LOVE IT! Best response to this problem EVER! On a related note, I heard back from Earth Rated poop bags and they have agreed to be a sponsor for the 30-Day Healthy Dog, Healthy You Challenge!! “One poop at a time” 😉

  17. Talent Hounds April 6, 2016 at 7:56 pm - Reply

    I can’t believe that guy. It is not optional but we have lots of people around here who do not pick up, from kids to olders. It creates such bad will and is just obnoxious.

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:25 am - Reply

      Don’t you wish you had the authority to hand out “bad manners” tickets with real fines? I do. All the time! 😉

  18. Rama's Mama April 6, 2016 at 8:04 pm - Reply

    YESSSSS. Many times yes!!!!

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:32 am - Reply

      Indeed! 🙂

  19. Sweet Purrfections April 6, 2016 at 9:57 pm - Reply

    I’m usually shocked at the number of people who allow their pets to poop outside PetSmart beside the post with the bags and walk off!

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:35 am - Reply

      Seriously?!? What could possibly be the excuse for that? C’mon people!

  20. Ava at Savvy Pet Care April 6, 2016 at 10:21 pm - Reply

    I believe I’ve had this same rant watching folks walk their dogs. I’ve seen the dogs poop right by the baggie station and the owner then walk them away. Like you, I just don’t get it.

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:40 am - Reply

      It is truly one of my biggest pet peeves!

  21. Tenacious Little Terrier April 6, 2016 at 11:49 pm - Reply

    I’ve actually had someone tell me that I don’t need to bother picking up Mr. N’s poop because it’s so tiny.

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:57 am - Reply

      GAH! I’m guessing they were just justifying not picking up their own dog’s poop 😉

  22. Denise Yoder-Gruzensky April 7, 2016 at 12:03 am - Reply

    AHMEN! Those non poop picker uppers are the reasons the rest of us get banned from places!! PICK IT UP PEOPLE!! Thanks for such a great rant/post!

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 11:58 am - Reply

      Exactly! So glad you liked the rant masquerading as a post – ha!

  23. Cathy Armato April 7, 2016 at 4:18 pm - Reply

    This is such a pet peeve of mine (pardon the pun!). Everyone knows darn well they’re supposed to clean up after their dogs but so many still don’t. It’s so unsanitary to leave that around for others to step in, it’s especially dangerous for a child to touch and potentially ingest bacteria from it, even after wiping their hands off. It’s disgraceful. I see a lot of off leash dogs poo along the trails with owners who either pretend they don’t see it or simply ignore what their pooch has done. This is one of the reasons why public parks, trails, etc. don’t allow dogs!
    Love & Biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them

    • SimonDawg April 7, 2016 at 5:55 pm - Reply

      I completely agree! I especially love the folks who head out on the trail and when their dog does poop, they look around to see if anyone is watching. If they see me, they say something like, “Oh, we’ll get that on the way back down.” Sure. Sure you will… It makes the rest of us look bad and, you’re right, it is absolutely the reason that so many areas exclude dogs.

  24. Part of responsible dog ownership is picking up da poops!

    • SimonDawg April 11, 2016 at 8:31 am - Reply


  25. agirlandherhusky April 8, 2016 at 6:13 am - Reply

    Great rant! I totally agree. Gracie refuses to poop in public unless it’s at the dog park, so she usually goes in our backyard in her spot (she is very specific about where she goes, LOL.) However, if she does go at the dog park, I pick it up. It’s frustrating when other people at the park won’t pick up after their dogs though…

    • SimonDawg April 11, 2016 at 8:33 am - Reply

      It is incredibly frustrating, especially because every dog park I’ve ever been to has a big huge sign explaining that owners are to pick up their dog’s poop! Like there should even have to be a sign! OY! 😉

  26. Sara @ BestPetReviews June 21, 2018 at 9:40 pm - Reply

    Wow, I can’t believe that guy didn’t pick up his dog’s poop! I would have said something like “don’t worry, I’ll still go out with you if you pick up the poop”, haha. It so true that many people think the poop will disintegrate and think it’s ok. But they don’t think about disease and kids running around the grass without shoes or playing soccer.

  27. Lawrence November 26, 2018 at 12:51 am - Reply

    Good Post!!!

    • Alison Reder
      Alison Reder December 9, 2018 at 3:19 pm - Reply


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